An Ally, but not “NALT”

I imagine that if I were Dan Savage, I would also get sick of Christians coming up to me after talks to tell him “we’re not all like that,” as is related in this HuffPo piece that I’ve been seeing on facebook (stop that, people. It doesn’t always have to be about us!). And I suspect that this NALT video campaign might do some good. If the message anyone has taken away from Christianity is anything other than “God loves you and we love you,” then we need a do-over. We need to be sure you hear this, and hear it from us. In fact, please excuse me while I go scream it at the top of my lungs in every room of this library.


Having now caught my breath and sneaked back into the library, I must now tell you why I nevertheless cannot participate in the NALT campaign. It largely has to do with the way it’s been framed. This particular action of making a video is presented as the litmus test for whether any given Christian is on the side of the oppressed or the oppressor. Savage says as much:

Make a Not All Like That Video. If you don’t take that step, speak up, then know that your silence allows the Tony Perkins and Pat Robertsons to speak for you and to continue to do real harm not just to LGBT young people but to Christianity itself. (From the linked article)

My friend Madison (to whom the hat tips for bringing this to my attention in the first place) has said most of what needs to be said in response:

It reminds me a little bit of conservative Christians who demand that Muslims denounce extremist Islam, all while the fact that many Muslims do denounce extremism on a regular basis and their denunciations are simply ignored by those who demanded the denunciations in the first place.

Madison is not equating the two things, which would be wrong. Christians have a privileged status in America that Muslims do not, and the silence of the privileged has a different moral status than the silence of the marginalized. Still, it is wrong to equate declining to make a video with silence. For one thing, some of us don’t do videos. More importantly, as Madison also says, it is not as though GLBT Christians and their allies “have…been quietly wandering through that [oppressive church] environment. We’ve been kicking and screaming,” but have been largely ignored by the dominant voices within and outside of the church.

But what is most important for me (so if you’re only going to read one paragraph, read this one) is that my understanding of Christianity does not permit me to define myself over and against other Christians. “We” are not all “like that.” Who are “we”? Who are the they who are “like that”? I identify as an ally of GLBT persons, and may God grant me the grace to be a better one. But I am also the chief of sinners. I am not as free from the sins of homophobia and transphobia as I would like to think that I am, either in my heart of hearts, or in the institutions in which I participate. And even if, by God’s grace, I were free of those particular sins, would it be spiritually safe for me to pat myself on the back and say “God, I thank thee that I am not as other men are, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this homophobe”? Personal and institutional heterosexism grieves God, and it grieves me. But I cannot dismiss other Christians as being “like that,” and comfort myself with the delusion that I have no part in their sin. No. God be merciful to me, a sinner.

To any GLBT persons who happen upon this blog, I am sorry that we have hurt you and continue to hurt you. I pray that God will give me the grace to be your ally in more than name. But as a Christian, I am only allowed to define myself in terms of the God I am for, not the other Christians I am against.

Know, however, that the God I am for is for you.

2 comments on “An Ally, but not “NALT”

  1. tracimsmith says:

    think parsing out the name as a reason to not participate in the project is a mistake. I see the project as attempting to address this claim: Christians are hate-filled and anti-gay. Answer: Not all Christians are like that. I think you’re overreaching when say it’s being used as a litmus test. Nobody is saying that you have to post a video to this specific site in order to pass the ally test. The site itself isn’t saying that, in my view. It’s trying to draw out people who wouldn’t normally *tell their stories.* If we learned anything from the It Gets Better project, we learned that telling our stories is powerful. Up until now there’s been no central clearing house for Christians to tell their stories. I think it would be very easy to say “This is my story, I’m adding it to the other voices. PS, I wish the project had a different name.” That’s my plan, anyway. 🙂… <—–NALT VIDEO

  2. Kyle says:

    Thank you for visiting and for your comment. I think there are many ways that we might negotiate the complexities involved, and yours is certainly one (I have not watched your video yet). However, even if the point about the litmus test is making too much of Savage’s comments (which is possible, though I don’t think it is), that was the less important of my criticisms. The more important one was that it seems to be asking Christians to define themselves over and against other Christians, which I cannot do. I don’t think this is just a matter of the name, but also the spirit of the thing. As I said at the very beginning, this thing could do plenty of good. And if it does, I’m grateful. But if the whole point is to make sure that people are hearing the right message from Christians, then I don’t see how what we are saying can be irrelevant.

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